We had a session by Mr Ramesh on neuro linguistic programming or NLP. Here is a summary written by Priya Sasi.
NLP INTRODUCTION
NLP – NEURO LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING
NLP was created by Richard Bandler and John Grinder in 1970s in USA. NLP creators claim that there is a connection between neuro processing, language and behaviour patterns learnt through experience and can be changed to achieve goals in life.
DEFINITION OF NLP
Simple definition of NLP is
“ How we do, What we do”.
What we do is the CONTENT
How we do is the PROCESS
How do we use NLP in REAL TIME?
Thought --------à words --------à outcome
When you manage (in other word), if you are in the business of people , to get a desired outcome sometimes the focus should be on the content and sometimes the focus should be on the process. But NLP recommends to keep the focus on the process.
IMPORTANT TERMS IN NLP
1. Pattern
2. Map
3. Strategy
4. Belief
5. Modeling
6. Conflict
Pattern
Anything and everything around us are patterns (something which repeats itself ). The ability to recognize patterns around us help us to live in harmony with world around us.
The best way of recognizing a pattern is “observing patterns”, i.e. simply listen to someone how he/she is saying/doing/being.
The more you recognize someone’s patterns, the more you connect to them in a way they want to connect.
Some patterns support us and some patterns stop us.
Map
Map is a perception based our experience.
Each person has their unique map based on their own experience.
Strategy
Programming may be defined as strategies we form to achieve our goal.
Strategies may be
• Unconscious strategies or
• Conscious strategies.
Unconscious strategies are strategies, which are formed to perform our regular tasks.
Conscious strategies are strategies, which are formed to perform a new task.
There is no generalized strategy which is suitable for all.Each of us have to form our own strategy.
Best strategy is to “Trust your own senses”
What is the exact thing I did, after it works well is the Best strategy.
Belief
We form a belief, when we get a desired response for a particular strategy.
Modeling
The core of NLP is “Modeling Excellence”
Children learn everything from parents . Parents are their role model. They are not aware of values or right or wrong. When a child sees his/her parents, he/she forms patterns from them and he/she follow parents as role models . So it becomes very important to be a good role model as a parent rather than instructing them.
Conflict
If we run a strategy for getting an outcome, but then the outcome is not as expected, there comes the conflict.
Conflicts maybe
• Within self
• With others
We should learn how to resolve the conflict with congruence.
STATEMENT AND DISCUSSION
Statement 1: Map is not the territory
What we see is not actual.
Map is perception based our experience
You represent what is true for you. So every individual have different map.
Statement 2: The Meaning of communication is the effect / response.
Whatever the response you received is what you communicated
Change your belief and have a strategy to have your required outcome
(i.e.) the response depends on how well we communicate. If we don’t get desired response, we need to change the communication pattern. And the more strong we aspire for an outcome, the more effective we design strategies to achieve it. If our aspirations are not strong , we may not be successful in designing effective strategies and in that case we choose to live with it.
SUGGESTIONS
1. One way of empowering the child is not to rescue the child.
2. Accept the child as he/she is.
3. Observe the child so that you can understand the way he/she wants to learn.
4. Recognize the learning style/ way(visual/auditory/kinesthetic) of your child
5. We all have default sense similarly child also has default sense, recognize child’s default pattern and respect his sense.
6. Find your default way of being and find child’s default way of being, based on that work with thechild.
7. It is important to take yourself as reference(internal reference), then only you will be moving ahead in any task.
8. Children themselves will give solutions, just hear them.
9. Person with greater flexibility always succeed.
10. Acceptance is the important key to success.
a. Accept self,
b. Accept partners and
c. Accept the situation
